By Erin Katrina
The old saying that is often repeated to both girls and guys, “Jangan sibuk pacar-pacaran, fokus belajar aja dulu,” is one that I would assume most of my readers as being familiar with. However, one can wonder, exactly why it is assumed that both can’t be done? The school experience doesn’t only concern grades and studying, but forming personal relationships with friends and mentors as well. In fact, the people you meet in school would probably be the most important takeaway from school itself. But in regards to “monkey love” as it is commonly referred to, is it possible to maintain relationships while acing your classes? Are relationships as distracting as it is made out to be by well-meaning and stern adults? And in terms of balancing school and relationships, can it be done?
Studies show that it is recommended to stay out of the dating and relationships scene until later on in life in order to let the individual mature as a person first before expecting another immature person to commit themselves to them. This is a formal of saying that perhaps one should focus on getting into a good college first, in which after being admitted would one be free to pursue any girls with luscious hair or guys with soft eyes. But, some people we’ve interviewed have said otherwise, disagreeing with the notion that keeping up grades while dating isn’t possible. A 16-year-old that would remain anonymous for privacy concerns (and caution against teasing) believes that her new relationship isn’t keeping her from studying and completing her assignments on time. “I think that if you are willing to make time for socializing and studying stuff..then there will be time, you just have to usaha-in and harus niat mau find the right balance.” She further then notes that her parents had met in high school and had gotten married after college while achieving their career goals. Certainly there is some truth that could be found within her words. If one is willing, one will find time to do what one has set his or her mind to do.
However, this point of view is not shared by anyone. Another teenager I’ve interviewed personally believes that there is no time available in their schedule for boyfriends or girlfriends. It sure would be nice, notes the individual, but since chances of meeting “the one” in high school is fairly slim, there is no point wasting time on “cinta-cinta monyetan.” Most teachers and other adults I’ve talked to seem to hold similar opinions. But perhaps, it isn’t the time taken up by a relationship in terms of dates that is the prime worry of the elders regarding high school romances, but is the emotional turmoils that pervades any real, meaningful relationship. What we would refer to as “drama” could be time-consuming and emotionally exhausting, especially when experiencing such emotions in the adolescent stage of our lives, in which hormones are flying off the handle. But all in all, it is this columnists’ belief that much of balancing relationships and academia depends on the person’s priorities and the significant other’s as well. If a person is determined to achieve academic excellence, a relationship on the side would not be a deterrent towards their ambitions. And a significant other worthy as a “keeper” would understand their needs and desires, not letting personal goals to strain a strong relationship. So, at the end of the day, not unlike the case of most successful relationships, successfully navigating academia and romance at the same time really comes down to the parties-or should I say, lovebirds-involved. Happy Valentine’s Day
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