The Ocean

By: Mazaya C.

The sound of waves crashing onto the shore silenced the world around me. Its deep blue colour glistening under the dim moonlight as it mesmerizes everything around it, creating an illusion that it is harmless. My mother and I both loved the ocean, until one day it decided to take her with them. She is eternally happy living somewhere in the deep blue sea, enjoying her new life as a sea creature. I’ve never believed in reincarnation, but mother always did and since her death, I did too.

Soft footsteps walk towards me as the soft scraping sound of sandals against the sand grew louder. “You can’t stay there forever Lila,” the person said.

I brought my legs up closer to my body and found no warmth as the ocean breeze blew harder against my t-shirt and jeans. “Just leave me alone Dad,” I said without looking at his face. I couldn’t find myself looking up against his hollow eyes. “I’ll come in. I just need to be alone right now.”

My dad sighed and started walking away from me. After a few steps he stopped, “I’m always here if you need me kiddo, I’ll be inside.” He said, sadness dripping from his voice. Now that’s a complete lie, I said to myself as he walked away and left the beach entirely. As soon as I heard the door close in a distance I let out a sigh I didn’t know I was holding, and yet I could feel the sear guilt of sending my dad away. My entire family knows that my dad does not spend time with any of us. Not with my mother or my brother, and certainly not with me.

The three of us were very close, my mother, my brother and I. We’d spend most of our time at the beach swimming, talking, or learning. All of us shared a common interest, the ocean. My mother was a science teacher but she loved the sea and has great knowledge about it too. She would tell us interesting facts about it every time she had the chance. But there was one time in which we didn’t fall into a deep conversation. All because of a simple misunderstanding. It made me realize that maybe it was the universe giving me a hint that it was going to be our last one.

After that conversation, she went out to the ocean to take her last swim before summer ended. Nevertheless, after staring at her for a while I realize she hasn’t gone up for air. I asked my brother who was sitting beside me to see if he saw her, but he didn’t. That’s when my panic started to kick in. I yelled out for her name but there was no reply. Sensing that something is wrong, I went to pick up the phone and call the emergency number. As soon as I did, my brother dived into the water as well, to try and look for her, but he resurfaced with empty hands.

Everything that happened after was a blur. The ambulance and the rescue team came. They eventually found her but couldn’t do anything as she was already gone. Since then, it has been a struggle to engage in everything else and has become a major issue.

Its been nearly a year since the incident, and I have not been in the ocean since then. I failed school because of the lack of focus, I grew away from my friends and they eventually left me. The only things I have left is my brother, who understands everything, and my dad, who attempts to understand everything, and the ocean.